Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
