i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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