Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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