the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
