South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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