I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
