first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
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