apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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