3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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