found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
