Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
