my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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