**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
