so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Randomize
