i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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