So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
