yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
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