they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
