Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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