He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
