I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
