i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
