i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
