Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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