Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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