yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
