32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
