he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
