Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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