fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
