just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize