I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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