Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
it's great music for shaving your balls
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
