someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Only a mothe r could love this liver
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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