i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
