you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
