My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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