i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
