Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.

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(520): View more from Arizona

Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn

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(716): View more from New York

how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.

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(719): View more from Colorado

Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.

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(818): View more from California

Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?

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(804): View more from Virginia

As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen

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