you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
