Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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