I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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