I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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