i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
