doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Bring me that man meat
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
