I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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