I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
