i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
