Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just found a bag of teeth...
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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