i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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