come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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