he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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