I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
