i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize