Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
