Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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