We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
