Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
