I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Randomize
