Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Randomize
