Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
